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Binding: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 150
EAN: 9780752837260
ISBN: 0752837265
Label: Orion (an Imprint of The Orion Publishing Group Ltd )
Manufacturer: Orion (an Imprint of The Orion Publishing Group Ltd )
Number Of Pages: 288
Publication Date: November 02, 2004
Publisher: Orion (an Imprint of The Orion Publishing Group Ltd )
Studio: Orion (an Imprint of The Orion Publishing Group Ltd )
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Editorial Review:
Amazon.com Review:
According to most relationship books, the key to a solid marriage is communication, communication, communication. Phooey, says John Gottman, Ph.D., author of the much-lauded Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. There's much more to a solid, "emotionally intelligent" marriage than sharing every feeling and thought, he points out--though most couples therapists ineffectively (and expensively) harp on these concepts.
Gottman, the director of the Gottman Institute, has found through studying hundreds of couples in his "love lab" that it only takes five minutes for him to predict--with 91 percent accuracy--which couples will eventually divorce. He shares the four not-so-obvious signs of a troubled relationship that he looks for, using sometimes amusing passages from his sessions with married couples. (One standout is Rory, the pediatrician who didn't know the name of the family dog because he spent so much time at work.)
Gottman debunks many myths about divorce (primary among them that affairs are at the root of most splits). He also reveals surprising facts about couples who stay together. They do engage in screaming matches. And they certainly don't resolve every problem. "Take Allan and Betty," he writes. "When Allan gets annoyed at Betty, he turns on ESPN. When Betty is upset with him, she heads for the mall. Then they regroup and go on as if nothing's happened. Never in forty-five years of marriage have they sat down to have a 'dialogue' about their relationship." While this may sound like a couple in trouble, Gottman found that they pass the love-lab tests and say honestly that "they are both very satisfied with their relationship and they love each other deeply."
Through a series of in-depth quizzes, checklists, and exercises, similar to the ones he uses in his workshops, Gottman provides the framework for coping with differences and strengthening your marriage. His profiles of troubled couples rescued from the brink of divorce (including that of Rory, the out-of-touch doctor) and those of still-happy couples who reinvigorate their relationships are equally enlightening. --Erica Jorgensen
Product Description:
Straightforward in its approach, yet profound in its effect, the principles outlined in this book teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman has scientifically analysed the habits of married couples and established a method of correcting the behaviour that puts thousands of marriages on the rocks. He helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr Gottman's workshops, this is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. 'An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent - and long-lasting - marriage' Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence
Average Rating: 
Rating:  -
My partner and I are on our second try after being apart for 11.5 years! This book has been very helpful with regard to setting boundaries and listening to each other. We were together, with one another, for 5 years during our last partnership. Already, this book has helped us by continuing to keeping the lines of communication open.
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Both my husband & I are on our 3rd marriage so we read a lot of marriage books to stay ahead of the game. None of them hit the nail on the head like this one does. If you've been in a relationship before, currently or have witnessed your parents or friends relationships you can relate to this book.
We have just started reading this book and that may seem unfair to already write a review but this book has that "Ah ha" that others books don't touch even after reading the entire book! ... Read More
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I've consumed many self-help books about improving marital relationships, and this is one of the most succinctly written expose on the science of making a marriage work. The information is very grounded in research and the content is useful from the outset, not just a hodge-podge of theories, but useful, tangible content that can be used daily.
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This is probably the best book on marriage on the market. Gottman thinks outside the box, making understanding how to have a good marriage both practical and possible. Men, especially, need to read this book.
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John Gottman, Ph. D. has a unique approach to helping married couples live happily ever after: he subjects them to scientific research! That's right. Over the past few decades Gottman has invited couples to spend a weekend in a wired apartment (dubbed the 'Love Lab') where their conversations - even their heart rates - are monitored by a team of relational scientists. As a result Gottman says: "...I can predict a divorce by hearing only one discussion between a husband and wife." (p. 40) Based on ... Read More
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